F**king Narcissus.
(Why the Clavicular and Logan Paul interview was so unintentionally revealing and important.)
In a recent interview the ‘looksmaxxeer’ influencer Braden Peters – better known for his online moniker ‘Clavicular’ – was interviewed by pioneer of the alpaca-haircut, Logan Paul. In the interview where they covered lots of riveting topics like penis enlargement and male hotness, Clavicular said something that was unintentionally interesting. When asked if the female partner’s orgasm was important, Clavicular said “it wasn’t important at all” and really, why bother, when there was so little “ROI for female pleasure” and he could be doing something more important like taking a phone call – perhaps to another dude telling him how hot he is, or something. Both Jake Paul and his co-host Mike Majlak giggled at this response, though Majlak was gallant enough to suggest it was important provided the female partner wasn’t a one-night stand (because in this manosphere world, girls who have one-night stands are massive ho-bags with zero acknowledgement they are doing exactly the same thing, so what does that make them – bro-bags perhaps?) For this, Majlak got called a ‘cuck’ as clearly anyone woke enough to acknowledge female pleasure is super gay in this upside-down world.
Now, to be fair, this conversation was widely ridiculed by both men and women, who seem to be more aware and experienced of the fun of mutual-pleasure than our Clavicular and the general consensus was he’d probably never witnessed a female orgasm, period. There was however plenty (read: millions) of comments from dudes globally, who were all like, ‘female orgasms, hahaha, grosssss’ and the conversation doubtless achieved the intention of driving young men and women even further apart because if young, influential dudes are literally saying phone calls are more interesting than sex, what do they think this is telling young women? Maybe conservative news outlets should start with conversations like this when they’re freaking out over nose-diving marriage and birth rates rather than blaming Greta Thunberg and ‘woke’ in general.
However as depressing as all of this might be for the future of the human race, this strikes me as both a massive opportunity and jumping off point for any young dude who looks at young women and sees a human being rather than someone they’re less interested in and find less interesting than their Ai-girlfriend. What we’re losing faster than any sense of connection and humanity is the memory that sex and relationships, especially the early ones in young adulthood have an absolute magic. There’s a reason some of the most enduring books, plays, songs, films and any other cultural medium you care to think about, centre first or early love as their motherlode. If Romeo and Mercutio had stayed home to look at their reflection in each other’s swords or take a phone call (or whatever the 16th century equivalent of that was), Romeo and Juliet would have been quite a different play.
A huge part of the joy of early sex and romances is (or perhaps was) the talking. Almost every one older will remember with heady pleasure the first time they sat up all night with someone else they fancied just shooting the shit, and the absolute universe-expanding buzz it gave you to realise you shared the world with someone who loved some of the things that you did and had thoughts and ideas that made you zing with the excitement of new possibilities. It breaks my heart we might be losing that because some dude who whacks himself in the face with a hammer has decreed one of life’s greatest joys obsolete.
But what an opportunity for young people – boys and girls – who still want that pleasure and experience. It’s crazy that the bar has been set so low, that all you need to be is someone who sees someone else’s humanity, that wants to ask questions, that cares if someone else is having a good time whether it’s at a party or in bed to seem like the exception to an increasingly toxic rule and narrative over heterosexual love, dating and sex. This world that men like Clavicular and Jake Paul inhabit is a dark one. And not really for dark moral reasons (though they come into play), but because these guys are so profoundly lacking in joy or humanity, they want to project this onto the rest of the world.
Sex and relationships are hard and scary. It’s easier to game with your bros online than it is to go to a party and have a conversation with a girl you like. It’s easier to get all your ‘wisdom’ about girls and women from online bros, who clearly know absolutely nothing about what girls think, feel or want, than it is to cross the aisle and ask a girl how she feels. It’s easier to have joyless sex, where you give not a second thought to your partner’s pleasure, but I can guarantee you’ll have a lot more fun in the both the short and long-term if you take the harder route.
Other people, and especially other people you fancy are hard work and love and sex are indeed a tricky, complex business. But the young people that start now and do it properly are guaranteed a better tomorrow than the bloke who will wake up in twenty years and find he loves his reflection in the mirror less than he used to, but more importantly, there is no one who really matters to love him either.
Love matters, sex matters, other people matter and it’s a lifelong project. Start now.
